All Full moons bring change and transformation and this one in Sagittarius is reminding us that all people and experiences that come into our lives are opportunities to learn and grow into the person we are meant to be.
As we approach Father’s Day in the USA, know that your relationship (or lack of one) with your father can trigger many emotions. If healing is called for, I highly encourage you to reach out for help.
Like many men of his generation, my father took care of his family financially, but was emotionally distant. I know at times I feel a longing to have had the kind of father who supported me unconditionally, encouraged my growth and taught me the practical tools necessary to thrive in the world.
Well, that didn't happen. I am smart enough (and have had enough therapy and spiritual teachers) to know that he did the best he could with the resources he had.
Shortly after my Dad passed, I went into the woods with my brother to do a letting go ritual. I wanted to "bury the hatchet " between us and for some bizarre reason my brother actually had my father's hatchet. (Why a man from Great Neck and South Florida had a hatchet is beyond my understanding). So, I physically buried it. My brother had a different issue. He no longer wanted to "walk in my father's footsteps" so he buried one of my father's shoes. I can't tell you how liberating that ritual was for both of us.
My brother Mark and many others that I know model the new masculine and have taken on the role of nurturer. He has very few "have tos" and has plenty of "want tos." Today children are growing up with a new model of a father: Someone who simply does what needs to be done without worrying about gender roles.
This Sunday I personally will be lighting a candle for my father -- letting myself feel the sadness of his passing and what could have been.
My ritual on Father’s Day is to eat one of his favorite foods. This year it may be Chinese soup or a piece of halvah. I also plan on writing down a list of what I learned from him and what qualities I want to claim as my own. After all, it is my inheritance.
Whatever you decide to do for this holiday, enjoy the celebration and the fathers and father figures you cherish. As my brother Mark, a father of three, so wisely said to me, "The best present for me is always feeling loved, included, and appreciated. Gifts are quite secondary."
Until next time,
Barbara
