Anxiety is at an all-time high around the world, and we’re unfortunately more likely to get stressed out and frustrated with friends, family, and colleagues during the holidays than we are to connect deeply with them, show our appreciation and express our gratitude. Relationships have become more complicated & strained in the past few years and many are still suffering from social anxiety as we move back into the world.
I want to suggest that we shift from focusing on getting presents, wearing new outfits or posting our perfect food photos on Instagram to focusing on listening, having real conversations, and appreciating what we do have in our lives.
Let’s take a digital detox for the holidays and return to Rituals of Connections. Try these:
1. Take time to share with your family and friends. For Thanksgiving or any gathering around this time, I like to have each person light a candle before dinner and share one thing that they are grateful for. This simple ceremony creates a new intimacy and sense of connection.
2. Fast from complaining. Try it and see how much better you feel.
3. Be aware of your feelings. You may feel sad during the holidays if you are physically far away from family and friends. You don’t have to pretend to be happy, however, once you acknowledge your feelings, you then have the freedom to move on and focus on other things. Volunteering at a soup kitchen, your local church or a temple is a great way to re-focus & shift your feelings.
4. Be flexible. Things change, and we must change with them to stay in the flow of life. Include some of your favorite traditions this holiday and then be open to creating new ones. Maybe your sister is now a vegetarian, and you include a Tofurkey along with the traditional one, or you celebrate a tradition from a new friend or relative.
5. Do not overspend. Use this year to find simple ways to enjoy the holidays without going into debt. Creating more debt will add to the stress you are already feeling. Remember it is the spirit of giving that counts, not the dollar amount of the gift.
6. Do some simple relaxation exercises. Try some simple breathing exercises, move your body into an easy yoga pose, or go for a brisk walk outdoors in nature. If you are going to be around many people, plan out rest stops and alone time during your (holi)days so you will not be burnt out.
7. Set boundaries. If you never say no, your yes will never mean anything. If you don’t treat yourself as valuable, no one else will either. This can cause you to either “stuff” your feelings down within and become resentful or blow up and explode unintentionally. You don’t have to say yes to every social invitation and you don’t have to do everything by yourself. Learn to delegate.
8. Laugh and do things that bring you joy. When you laugh, your brain releases neurotransmitters like dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, which make you feel happy and content. Get together with friends and just be silly, try laughter yoga or just watch a funny movie.
9. Give up being a perfectionist! Stop comparing yourself to others or measuring your success by impossible standards, including those you see on social media.
10. Reach out to others. Facetime or Zoom with friends or family who may be feeling lonely or isolated, volunteer at your local food bank, buy toys for kids in shelters, bake cookies for your neighbors or simply be generous with your compliments and be extra kind and patient with all your interactions.
May you always have
Walls for the winds,
A roof for the rain,
Tea beside the fire,
Laughter to cheer you,
Those you love near you,
And all your heart might desire!
(Irish Blessings)
For those of you who celebrate: Happy Thanksgiving!
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Work with Barbara:
We are coming to the end of 2022, and this is a perfect time for an intuitive tarot reading or ritual.
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Until next time,
Barbara