I just read that approximately 280 million people worldwide suffer from depression, and as much as 33% of people are lonely.
9/11 and other tragedies have taught all of us that comfort in the face of life’s challenges is not a luxury, it is a necessity. Comfort rituals are the universal lifelines that offer us deliverance from fears real and imagined; they resurrect us from the heart of despair and return us to wholeness.
Yet, I notice that many people bury the vulnerable need to be comforted and feel connected. We con ourselves into believing that we can substitute cold comforts like drinking, smoking, drugging (legal and illegal), overeating or workaholism for genuine comfort. Cold comforts are sanctioned escapes for many people. They numb us to the sometimes-overwhelming conditions that we cannot or chose not to face. Cold comforts devitalize us and ultimately drain us of our energy and resources.
And I constantly see lukewarm comforts like the young student who struck an impressive yoga posture in the park while smoking a cigarette, or the lawyer who wanted to meditate after three glasses of wine.
True comfort rituals offer us safe harbor in the sea of the unknown. Many are simple rituals that can be done in a moment of silence all by yourself or they can be orchestrated for a throng in the middle of a noisy convention hall. Comfort rituals can teach us the art of returning to the place within where we are comfortable just being. The place where our inner resources can fuel our outer expression because we have returned to our center, the surest place of comfort in our soul.
Notice what really brings you comfort this week. Here are some suggestions:
Hang out with your pet.
Take a warm bath with your favorite oils, especially those that relax you like a few drops of lavender or sandalwood) or try a few drops of jasmine, orange or ylang-ylang to uplift you. If you have sensitive skin, mix them with some carrier oil like coconut oil before adding to your bath.
Have a conversation with someone who really listens to you and has your best interest at heart.
Spend time in nature and engage your senses to connect to the earth under your feet: smell the grass and flowers, feel the air on your face, hear what surrounds you (birds, insects, water flowing), and see what is around you.
Let the sunshine in! Exposure to sunlight has been shown to promote the production of serotonin, a brain chemical associated with mood regulation.
Dance to upbeat joyful music. As my friend Lavinia Errico always says, “movement is medicine.”
Eat some ritual food that reminds you of happy times and a connection to something larger than yourself. For example: For the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashana) starting Friday, September 15th, we dip apples in honey to represent having a sweet new year. Even if you are not Jewish, try this ritual with a friend or family member.
And this is a perfect time to reach out to neighbors, colleagues and family members. Sometimes all it takes is a quick smile and hello while passing someone in the hallway or buying a cup of tea at your favorite café, sending a short text saying, “I am thinking of you”, or just doing a random act of kindness. As the song says, “we all need somebody to lean on.”
PS: Make sure to check out our upcoming events.
Until next time,
Barbara