Many years ago as I was standing on the top of a hill, in Aspen Colorado, I looked down at the tent classrooms set up for the various workshops taking place for John Denver’s symposium Choices for the Future. I was told that my space was down the hill to the right. Slowly I walked down the hill feeling more and more anxiety. It was my first big event and I was on the program with amazing and accomplished speakers such as former Vice President Al Gore and Chief Oren Lyons.
There was a huge circle of chairs set up for my presentation. I could feel the pressure to be successful intensify. After checking the microphone, I sat down to prepare for my talk. My heart was beating out of control, my hands were clammy, and my mouth was as dry as grains of sand. I felt like I was losing it! Totally out of control. I felt like throwing up. It was just what I wanted and worked for. So, why did I feel sick to my stomach?
I saw people begin to walk down the hill, but then turned to join other workshops. I began to panic. What if no one came? The organizers would think I was a failure. No one would ever invite me to speak again. Why did I say I would come here?
Then a strong voice inside me told me to ground to the earth. I did a grounding ritual that I had been taught by a Native American Shaman.
I slowly imagined a grounding chord leaving the base of my spine moving deep into the Earth. It began to root like a large tree. I could feel the roots spreading out going deep into the earth and connecting me with the heart of Mother Earth. The roots turned silver and gold and began to vibrate with a powerful energy. All my anxiety dropped down through the roots into the earth. It was as if I unplugged a stuck pipe.
Then I began to breathe up this warm, solid, grounded earth energy. I could feel it moving up through my roots, warm brown earth energy. It moved up into the soles of my feet, up my legs and thighs, filling my entire body.
Slowly I began to feel supported…knowing I was not alone. I became clearer and calmer. I opened my eyes and asked Spirit for a sign. Just as I finished praying I saw an eagle circling over me. That is when I knew Spirit was guiding me. No, I am not making this up.
Hearing footsteps, I turned around and saw groups of women coming down the hill towards me. It was as if I was a magnet, and they were being pulled into the circle. By the time we started we had almost 75 amazing women of all ages in our circle.
What came to me that day (a recurring theme that would later play out in a variety of ways) was the realization that stepping into something new made me feel vulnerable and unsure of myself. I was supremely confident in my old role, but now that I was being called to be “bigger” I felt like a young kid on her first day at a new school. I suddenly had to prove myself to myself again, and that critical voice in my head was filling my mind with negative chatter.
I used this as a teaching moment and shared it with the group. The response was overwhelming. As I shared my own vulnerability, it created a safe space and gave permission for others to express their deepest fears and blocks.
In this time of major change and transition, naming and sharing our concerns with each other, then participating in rituals that ground and center us is a key to moving forward. These practices help us center ourselves and find the strength to move forward.
For this reason, I am thrilled to announce that I will be launching a new course, Rituals for Change and Transition (working title), this Fall. This course is designed to provide you with the tools you need to create meaningful rituals for yourself and your community.
I welcome any specific topics you'd like to see covered in the course, so please don't hesitate to reach out with your suggestions (simply reply to this email). Additionally, I am available for one-on-one and group rituals to support your journey.
Until next time,
Barbara