The Permission to Be Human
I have spent a good portion of my life trying to get things right.. The right words, the right tone, the right impression. And while that impulse has served me in many ways, it has also cost me something, the ease that comes from simply being myself, imperfect and real.
So, when I first heard this story, it landed in me like a quiet relief.
The Dalai Lama was sitting onstage, waiting to be introduced. What he did not know was that his microphone was already live. He had a bad cold that day, and in those waiting moments, he blew his nose. Loudly. Several times.
The audience froze. This was a holy man. A revered spiritual leader. No one knew whether to laugh, look away, or pretend they had not heard anything. The tension in the room was almost unbearable.
And then the Dalai Lama realized what had happened.
He burst out laughing.
Not a polite chuckle. A full, genuine, delighted laugh at himself and the whole absurd situation. And in that moment, the entire room exhaled. People laughed with him, not at him, but with him, because he had given them permission. Permission to see that even a holy man has a runny nose.
Permission to stop holding their breath. Permission to be human.
I have thought about that story many times over the years.
There is a kind of spiritual bypassing that can happen when we take ourselves too seriously, when we believe that wisdom and dignity require a certain gravity, a careful presentation, an image to uphold. But the Dalai Lama, in one unguarded, very human moment, taught something that no prepared speech could have: that laughter at ourselves is not a failure of reverence. It is reverence, for the messy, beautiful, imperfect reality of being alive.
When we can laugh at ourselves, we make space for everyone around us to stop performing too. That is its own kind of grace.
I am still working on this. I still catch myself smoothing things over, trying to appear more put-together than I feel. But I keep coming back to that image of a great teacher laughing freely at himself, and I remember that the most sacred thing I can offer anyone is my honesty, including the honest truth that I do not always have it together.
None of us do. And that is perfectly fine.
If this touched something in you, please share it with someone who needs permission to lighten up today, including yourself.
Wishing you a beautiful week
With love,
Barbara