I recently received an email from a client who felt stuck and frustrated because she hadn’t lived up to the vision collage she created last year. This is someone who has shown great courage and accomplished so much in her career, yet the feeling of shame kept her from joining my recent workshop.
Her message struck a chord with me because I know this feeling all too well. When we don’t meet our own expectations, it’s easy to fall into self-blame, guilt, and shame. Our inner critic can be ruthless, making us feel like we’ve failed—not just at our goals, but at life itself.
But here’s the truth: this kind of self-judgment doesn’t serve us. It paralyzes us. It creates inertia, stuck energy, and can even lead to self-sabotaging behaviors like overeating, overspending, or withdrawing from the people who could support us.
Breaking Free from Shame & Inertia
Sometimes, things don’t go according to plan. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it just means the goal you thought you wanted may not be right for you now, or it might simply need a shift in direction. Instead of isolating yourself in shame, reach out. No one is judging you as harshly as you judge yourself.
Our brains are wired to cling to negativity like Velcro while letting positive experiences slip away like Teflon. Shifting from self-sabotage to empowerment requires building mental, emotional, and spiritual resilience so you can keep showing up for yourself and the world.
And the next time you find yourself saying, “I lost my focus,” remember you haven’t lost it—you’ve just misplaced it. And it can always be found.
A Simple Practice to Quiet Your Inner Critic
Next time that inner critic starts screaming at you, try this:
STOP. Take a pause.
Place your arms around yourself and say, “I’m sorry for being so hard on you.”
Take a deep breath.
Do one small, positive step forward. Just one.
You don’t have to do it alone. If you’re feeling stuck, reach out—I’m here to help. And if this message resonated with you, share it with someone who might need it. Let’s lift each other up.
PS: Make sure to check out our upcoming events.
With love,
Barbara